I’ve tried approximately 347 productivity systems in my lifetime. I’ve bullet journaled, time-blocked, and pomodoro-ed my way through countless workdays. I’ve downloaded apps that turn productivity into a game, apps that lock me out of social media, and apps that supposedly analyze my “focus patterns” (which, as it turns out, don’t exist).
The result? My to-do list is longer than ever, and I’ve added “feel guilty about productivity apps I paid for but don’t use” to my already extensive list of daily anxieties.
Look, we both know the drill. You’re reading this because you, like me, have accepted that you’re the kind of person who buys fancy planners in January that are empty by February 3rd. You’ve got seventeen half-completed to-do lists scattered across various platforms. Your “inbox zero” dreams died somewhere around 2014.
Here’s the thing—most productivity advice is written for people who are already basically productive. It’s like giving marathon training tips to someone who gets winded walking to the fridge. What about the rest of us? The procrastinators, the distractible, the perpetually overwhelmed?
So I’ve developed some, let’s call them “modified” productivity techniques specifically designed for those of us who know we should do the thing but still probably won’t. At least not right away. Or completely. Or at all.
First up: The Two-Minute Rule, Procrastinator’s Edition
You’ve probably heard of the standard two-minute rule: if something takes less than two minutes, do it immediately rather than adding it to your to-do list.
The procrastinator’s version? The Twenty-Second Rule.
If something takes more than twenty seconds of focused effort, honestly evaluate whether you’re going to do it right now. If not, don’t bother writing it down on a to-do list where it’ll just make you feel bad when you inevitably don’t do it. Instead, make a “might do” list.
My “might do” list lives on a sticky note on my desk, and I’ve found it remarkably liberating. The psychological difference between “I failed to do this thing I committed to” and “I decided not to do this optional thing” is enormous. And the bizarre part? I actually complete about 40% of my “might do” items, which is roughly 40% more than I was completing from my hyper-optimistic to-do lists.
Last Thursday, I proudly crossed off “water that plant that’s been dead since March” from my might-do list. Sure, the plant didn’t make it, but I finally threw out the pot of dried soil that had been silently judging me for months. Progress!
Next: The Pomodoro Technique For People Who Can’t Focus For 25 Minutes
The traditional Pomodoro Technique suggests working in 25-minute focused blocks followed by 5-minute breaks. Which sounds lovely if you can actually focus for 25 consecutive minutes.
For the rest of us, I present: Micro-Pomodoros.
Start with just five minutes of focused work. Not checking your phone, not answering that email that just came in, not reorganizing your pen drawer—just five minutes on the singular task at hand. Then take a two-minute break. Repeat.
“That’s ridiculous,” I hear you saying. “I’ll never get anything done that way.”
But here’s what happens: those five minutes often turn into ten once you’ve actually started. And even if they don’t, five minutes of actual work is infinitely more productive than 25 minutes of staring at a task while panicking about your inability to start it.
I wrote nearly this entire section using Micro-Pomodoros. Well, I started with them, anyway. By the fourth one, I’d stretched to fifteen minutes because I was on a roll. This never happens when I try to force myself into 25-minute blocks—I just end up checking the timer every 47 seconds and calculating how much longer I have to endure this torture.
Third: Task Batching for the Hopelessly Distractible
Normal productivity advice: Group similar tasks together to minimize context-switching and maximize efficiency.
My version: Emergency Task Batching.
You know those days when you’re so scattered that you can’t seem to complete even the simplest task without getting distracted seventeen times? Yeah, those days.
On those days, I don’t even pretend I’m going to stay focused on one category of work. Instead, I grab a piece of paper and write down every single thing I do. “Replied to Sarah’s email. Started expense report. Googled ‘why do cats purr.’ Checked Instagram. Returned to expense report.”
The act of having to write it down doesn’t necessarily stop me from getting distracted, but it makes me aware of just how fragmented my attention is. And often, the sheer ridiculousness of seeing “Googled ‘did Victorians have birthday cakes'” sandwiched between two halves of an important task is enough to nudge me back on track.
Last month, my emergency task batching list for a single hour included: “Worked on presentation slides (3 minutes). Checked phone. Researched vacation destinations for trip I can’t afford. Remembered I was working on slides. Added two bullet points. Texted mum back. Stared out window. Wondered if squirrels get depressed. Back to slides.”
It wasn’t pretty, but by the end of the day, I’d actually finished those slides—something that might not have happened if I’d been beating myself up about my inability to focus instead of just documenting it.
Fourth: Habit Stacking for People Who Don’t Have Habits
The traditional advice: Attach new habits to existing ones. If you already brush your teeth every night, use that as a trigger to add in a new habit like taking vitamins.
My take: Obstacle Acknowledgment.
Since my existing “habits” are wildly inconsistent, I’ve found it more useful to identify exactly why I’m not doing something and then address that specific obstacle.
For instance, I wasn’t taking my vitamins daily because they were in a cabinet I rarely open. Moving them next to the kettle meant I saw them while making my morning tea. Completion rate jumped from about 20% to 80% overnight.
I wasn’t reading more books because I kept falling asleep when reading in bed. Switching to audiobooks during my commute solved that problem entirely.
The trick is to be brutally honest about your obstacles. “I don’t have time” is rarely the real reason. It’s usually “I don’t remember to do it” or “I’ve made it too complicated” or “I’ve placed it in a location where I’ll never see it” or the most common, “It requires more activation energy than I’m willing to expend after a long day.”
Just last week, I finally admitted that I wasn’t doing my physio exercises not because “I forget” (my previous excuse) but because the mat was stored in a closet under a pile of other stuff. Now it lives permanently unfolded in the corner of my living room. Ugly? Yes. But my dodgy knee is finally getting better.
Fifth: Motivation Alternatives for the Chronically Unmotivated
Standard advice: Find your “why” to stay motivated.
Reality check: Sometimes, there is no inspiring “why.” Sometimes you just have to do the boring thing because it needs doing.
My solution: The Spite Productivity Method.
When intrinsic motivation fails, I’ve found that spite, pettiness, and the desire to prove people wrong are remarkably effective motivational tools.
My kitchen has never been cleaner than when my mother-in-law announced her surprise visit with just four hours’ notice. I once completed an entire work project in a single night after a colleague suggested I might not be up to the task. And I finally organized my disaster of a closet after my well-meaning but supremely organized friend said, “Don’t worry about it—some people just aren’t naturally tidy!”
Oh really, Jessica? Watch me color-code these jumpers.
Is spite-based productivity psychologically healthy? Probably not. Does it sometimes get things done when nothing else will? Absolutely.
If you can’t find a nemesis, competition works too. My friend and I have a system where we text each other pictures when we complete a dreaded task. It’s half accountability, half showing off, and it’s gotten me through many a tax return and dentist appointment.
The Ugly Truth About Productivity
Here’s what all those shiny productivity gurus don’t tell you: sometimes, you’re going to fail spectacularly at being productive. You’ll have days where your biggest achievement is putting on matching socks. You’ll have weeks where your to-do list reproduces like rabbits, and you can’t seem to catch up.
That’s not a personal failure—it’s just being human.
The most useful productivity hack I’ve found isn’t a system or an app or a technique. It’s self-forgiveness. It’s the ability to have an absolutely garbage day productivity-wise and still wake up the next morning without carrying the weight of yesterday’s incompletions.
Last month, I spent an entire Tuesday doing absolutely nothing on my list. Instead, I went down a three-hour rabbit hole reading about medieval beekeeping practices (I don’t keep bees, nor do I have any plans to). Then I watched half a season of a show I’d already seen, ate cereal for dinner, and went to bed early.
The old me would have spent Wednesday punishing myself for wasting Tuesday. The new me just started fresh. And weirdly, Wednesday ended up being one of my most productive days that week.
So maybe that’s the real hack for people who still won’t do anything: Accept that sometimes you won’t do anything, and that’s okay. Lower the bar so far it’s practically on the ground. Celebrate tiny victories. Turn potential failures into conscious choices.
And for God’s sake, move your vitamins next to the kettle.
