I’ve tried approximately 347 productivity systems in my lifetime. I’ve bullet journaled, time-blocked, and pomodoro-ed my way through countless workdays. I’ve downloaded apps that turn productivity into a game, apps that lock me out of social media, and apps that supposedly analyze my “focus patterns” (which, as it turns out, don’t exist). The result? My to-do list is longer than ever, and I’ve added “feel guilty about productivity apps I paid for but don’t use”…

It started, like most of my questionable scientific endeavors, at approximately 3:17 AM on a Tuesday. I’d been reading about evolutionary psychology while simultaneously reviewing some paleontological journals (look, my brain doesn’t do the whole “focus on one thing” very well), when I had what Mei later described as “another one of your concerning mental connections.” “What if,” I whispered to my half-empty coffee mug, “our personalities aren’t just random collections of traits but evolutionary…